Close Encounter of the Asshole Kind

Posted: December 18, 2008 in Uncategorized

Oh my, do I have a fun story for you guys or do I have a fun story for you guys!

Just got back from the most interesting walks I have had so far on this beautiful little ‘Paradise island’.
It had been a wonderfully rainy afternoon and I was mozying along the Galle Face Boulevard umbrella-less after the rainfall was long gone. Sneakers splashing in the puddles and grinning like an idiot up at the thundering rainless grey sky, I took a detour into that lane on the side where you can watch the Galle Face tides crashing into the rocks below, from a stage-like rocky wall.
There are policemen, and it is about 3.30pm. The far end of the Galle Face stage/wall is barricaded at the moment. I ask the police man if I can come here and watch the sea. He says I can hang out over here but not on the barricaded far side.
So I go stand at the edge of the wall and watch the afternoon gloomy ocean, relaxing! A few feet away from me on the left is a couple and another guy.

The police man appears behind me. ‘Su su!’ he beckons. I walk to him.
Why are you here?
Who are you?
Where do you work?
I show him my ID.
Do you have a work ID?
I say no, I’m a freelancer, only been working there for a month.
He still has my ID, turning it over and over expecting it to do a magic trick.
Why are you here alone?
Is this your real address on the ID?
Where do you live?

He asks these questions a dozen more times, just differently phrased. I am not a patient person. Nor am I known for a very calm temperament. By this time, I am standing with one hand on my hip and with an indignant look on my face. See, I’ve never been intensely interrogated by a police man before. Let alone for merely standing and looking at the beach.

So, my face probably red as a tomato, and smoke travelling out of my ears, my tongue is too fast and moves before I can bite it down:
Why, what’s the problem?
Do you want to talk to my editor?
Am I not allowed to just stand here and watch the beach?
Is standing alone on a pier some unheard-of local federal offence?
Mind you, I asked all these questions in a calm tone, of course accompanied with sarcasm and a disgusted look on my face.

This is naturally followed by Mister Policeman’s ego getting severely beaten, and he goes on about how this building behind him is full of people in lock-up and how talking to him in a certain tone can easily get me arrested.

Finally, the asshole creates such a haa-hoo in front of me, even noting down my ID number and address, and calling his policeman-buddies to look me up and down, that the couple at the wall come up and ask us what the problem is. Surprise surprise, Raalahami hadn’t bothered buggering with the couple or their friend. By this time, I am pissed off as hell.

But yes, if I had simply shut up and kissed his ass and left quietly, I’m sure he would have been supernice and not bothered with the All-Mighty Raalahami Act. I just couldn’t do that though. Damn this bad temper to hell in a handbasket.

Finally, after the girl from the couple and I ended up laughing about “how our police guys bother everyone else except the real terrorists”, and in Raalahami Aiyya’s mid-rant about the Powah of the Police Uniform, I just threw a bucket of sarcasm at him with “Aapoh don’t worry, I won’t come here again! Thank you! Thank you SO MUCH!” and strode off.

What land am I living in if a lone girl enjoying the view at the beach is suspicious terrorist behaviour? And when policemen expect citizens to lick their shoes in respect for being badgered?
If I suddenly stop blogging, you know Raalahami Aiyya’s tracked me down and thrown me in his lock-up for committing ‘federal offence 142: being a smartass.’ 😉

  1. Sigma says:

    Did you take darling RA’s number down – that really pisses them off. I usually ask them to show me their Police ID saying that with so many people impersonating Policemen these days one cannot be too careful.

  2. His Majesty says:

    Most of the chaps on the force are morons. For them their uniform will likely be the single most important piece of clothing they will wear. Their duties the most important things they will do… Little do they realize that they are theoretically public servants, under the Law of Sri Lanka as much as you and I are… Three cheers to the first chap who realizes that…The time is now for Sri Lankans to stand up for themselves… Perhaps yes Indians overreact but definitely there’s a lesson to be learned from them. Unity and Number = A Voice That Is Heard And Taken Seriously.Now that the serious crap is out of the way. WAY TO GO. Hilarious account of what might have been an annoying and frustrating experience… Do note though that SL is a Unitary State and does not operate under a Federal Government, as such there can be no such thing as a ‘Federal Offence’ under the Law of Sri Lanka as it is.

  3. Jack Point says:

    Velcum, velcum to the Banana Republic.It is known as intimidation anywhere else and is the hallmark of the police state.

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