Creatures of Death

Posted: February 17, 2009 in Uncategorized

A gut-wrenching, blood-stopping, wtf-inducing scream pierces the calm atmosphere. The scream is wet with fear and terror and panic.

What monster has caused the fair damsel to gather her skirts and take refuge atop my table and express her horror in such an infuriatingly unshuttapable way?

My cat. -_-

I know a lot of people who quite certainly and fully fear felines.
I understand possible dislike for cats, as they seem pretentious and rude to some, or even disgust towards them, as many just can’t stand furry moving things, like people who shudder at spiders and stray dogs.

But fear?

The woman is easily freaking nine times the cat’s size. The cat (100% lazy, domesticated, and doesn’t live on human flesh last time I checked) is calmly lying down ten feet away.
And here she is, pointing at it and yelling incoherently, jumping onto furniture, scared shitless.

These Catphobic Patients (CP) aren’t necessarily even wusses in general. Some are the tellers of the most blood curdling horror stories, the wildest of Truth & Dare players, and the toughest Rambos if a snake or wild monkey should cross their path.

But for some unfathomable reason, this tiny furball of harmless sweetness minding its own business manages to strike mad fear into the very same hearts.

Typical CP Scenario, last week:
Bunch of people seated all over my bedroom, chatting.
Tray of drinks placed in centre of bed.
Cookie saunters onto the first step of bedroom doorway.
Ear shattering scream as CP literally jumps off bed.
Another ear shattering scream (me, this time) as drink glasses almost topple over onto precious bed quilt.
CP is half-hanging onto the curtains at one end of the room, screaming words that once deciphered (had to filter out the high pitched ‘AAH!’s inbetween words, you see) translated to:
Get that evil monster of doom and death and destruction out of this vicinity at once or I shall die a swift and panic stricken death!

Hmm. Well needless to say, what with my evil quotient, many a time have I purposefully attempted throwing cats and kittens in the faces of CPs, just to freak the bajeezus out of them.

But it puzzles me so. Alright it’s fine perhaps if you had some childhood traumatic encounter with a vicious rabid wild cat and you’re relapsing now.

But what excuse do ordinary people have? And the phobia isn’t even a rare case, I know atleast 30 CPs personally. And they all turn into Paul Tergat when a cat crosses them on the street.
Not yet come across boys stupid enough to fear cats (and even kittens! the nerve!), so it must be a girl thing.
But what explains it? Is it an Asian thing? A Sri Lankan thing? A mental condition thing?

Whatever it is, I’m going to have to get to the bottom of it.
Cuz I don’t think Cookie’s poor heart can take anymore of strange adult humans waving their arms around and screaming like she’s Godzilla everytime she makes an entrance.

Or maybe, she rather enjoys it. 😉

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Comments
  1. Azrael says:

    Ha Ha i haven’t met any CP’s with that kind of reactions so far. They usually shoo any cats that come their way. Let’s face it, like cats themselves, cat lovers are a mysterious and special breed. We are better than the rest of them. Cat’s will Ruuule…Mwahahaha… urm…sorry, got carried away a bit there…ahem.and yes, I’m sure Cookie enjoys it immensely

  2. DeeCee says:

    cookieya must have been amused 😀

  3. blackexists says:

    lol! luuuuuuuuurve the picture! and i htink cants are cute!they’re so…. ‘pettable’. mew.

  4. Serendib_Isle says:

    Hah ha, funny post. Nicely written.I think CP’s are delusional. And ignorant. They think cats would grow in to man-eating tigers and leopards. Just like my little 2 year-old thought that if geckos could climb walls, why couldn’t crocodiles climb trees?

  5. Sasнiиi says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *snort*I have nothing productive to say. O_o

  6. Sigma says:

    Cats are really evil alien creatures masquerading as sweet furry, well cats. The CP’s are people who subconsciously know this and react as opposed to the rest of us who have been taken in by them.

  7. The Celestial Dream says:

    Man, that’s happened. EAR-SHATTERING Screams too… You’d think we wouldn’t have ear drums after all that! Love the cat pic. Classic!Regards to Cookie.

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