Sticks and Stones…

Posted: February 19, 2009 in Uncategorized

Whacko was saying the other day how society is loaded with people who just cannot appreciate good humoured insults, and how that is leading to Insult Jedis having to curb their mad skillZz.

Seriously mean, trashy or lame insults – low blows -are the product of ninny assholes. eg: ur a fkin idiot! lolololzz!11
But there is a certain class of intelligent Insults, you see, that is so richly laced with wit, sarcasm and sardonic humour. A class of insults that are cleverly thrown around, not as cheap slaps in the face, but rather as an entertaining tool of Pwnage.

You know, the ones followed by a cocky grin and you give the victim a good natured slap on the back, and they laugh along with you or counter with their own pwnage.
But if their face starts to look like this instead (which is more often the case):

…Run.

Being a member of the Insult Jedis R US Corporation myself, I enjoy crafting such insults in my head all the time.
Alas! People do not take too kindly to me testing them out on their sensitivities.

Person: Hey give me your pen.
Me: Oh the ink is over.
Person: What? You just bought it this morning!
Me: Yeeah.. all the ink sorta ran out cuz I was using it to work on this insanely huge calculation..
Person: Woah that huge? Calculation of what?
Me: Your mother’s surface area.
Person: …
Me: Eheheh.
Person: Asshole! (stalks off)
Me: Whaaat, that was funny!

See the witty sneakiness snazzying-up a lame old ‘yo momma’s so fat’ joke?
Sheer brilliance I tell you.
I try to appreciate mad-skillz-insults as much as possible too, mind you.

Me: Dude, that movie was so lame, I didn’t know whether to laugh at it or throw up in disgust!
Dude: Really? People have the same confused reaction when they look at your face!
Me: Woah you bastard! Not bad at all. Would give that a solid 7 out of 10.
Dude: 8 out of 10 if I had replaced ‘face’ with ‘mom’ no?
Me: Deffa.

Some classics by fellow Insult Jedis…

  • Your ignorance makes Hiroshima look like a pin-prick.
  • You’re so fat that your body parts have separate time zones.
  • You suck so much that black holes have gone out of business.
  • You’re like the love child of Einstein and Jessica Simpson. (‘Aw sweet thing to say’) I meant his looks and her brains.
  • You’re so gay that Elton John and Brokeback Mountain combined look like a conservative Rabbi in comparison.

‘You’ in the above cases can of course also be replaced with Your mom or Your (relative) or Your face and such. Soon, with much practice, you too shall learn the dark arts of the Pwnage, young padawan.

Craft something brilliantly insulting and gimme your best original shot! I dare ya.

Meanwhile, a joke by moi you can complete as creatively as you like-
What do your mom and Biology tuition class have in common?

😀

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Comments
  1. Azrael says:

    we bow to you O master jedi…Your so ugly, Count Dracula decided to suck a pig rather than suck you :PYo so dumb, that they replaced you with an amoeba at work :PWhat do your mom and Biology tuition class have in common?SEXok i have to get back to work…

  2. Sean says:

    What do your mom and Biology tuition class have in common?They both taught me the facts of life and then proceeded to screw me on the final exam…

  3. TheWhacksteR says:

    insult jedi’s ? Oo i like the term*wields his ‘slight’ saber :DMAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

  4. mixedblessings89 says:

    Insult Jedi’s? Nice.*bows*PS: I love the music on this blog.

  5. Sachintha says:

    You dumb fucking dimwit this post is as useless as your mother!Oh, wait,this post is as much shit as this blog itself!;-)

  6. Scrumpulicious says:

    Lol! I have this relationship with A where he will cuss me and I actually fall over laughing and tell him how good it was!”What do your mom and Biology tuition class have in common?”They both suck!

  7. Makuluwo says:

    Woah who knew our fellow bloggers had so much Insultage up their sleeves. ;D The claws are out! Now as a Jedi, let me rate your attempts.. Azrael: I like the amoeba one, 7 out of 10! The other 2 unfortunately don’t hit the nail on the head. The force is strong with you young Skywal- I mean Azrael, but you are not a jedi yet. Sean: Ooh nice, closest anyone’s got to my answer. Crash and burn. Solid 8 out of 10. Scrumpy: An honourable attempt, young one. Need meaner if you wanna PWN someone though. Sachintha: Ehh, low blow, dude. The insult’s gotta have cleverer layers to it than that to kick ass. Whacko, I am your Father. Join me, and together, we will rule the galaxy! *Asthmatic-sounding Darth Vader cackle* Bahaha! Welcome, mixedblessings! Hope we shall be seeing more of yourself here. 🙂

  8. Sachintha says:

    LOL bro I just tested if you could take a low blow!:PNo offense meant bro!:D

  9. Makuluwo says:

    Bro? I’m a girl, sweets, no offence taken, that was just constructive criticism. ;D

  10. Sachintha says:

    LOL sorry sis, then!But “sis” doesn’t have the same effect as “bro” does it?:DCheers!

  11. TheWhacksteR says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! someone thought you were a guy!

  12. Makuluwo says:

    >.< Probably because I declared that I was your Father, mister smartypants!

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