Twilight: a big joke?

Posted: February 27, 2009 in Uncategorized

Ok, what the hell was all that stupid haa-hoo about the movie Twilight for?

Oooh Edward Cullen is such a heartthrob!
Oooh such a romantic movie!

ooOOo marry me, edward! lolz! on everybody’s MSN personal messages.

So obviously, I was expecting some sort of real Casanova quality combined with some cool vampire funkyness, as seen by Lestat or Blade villains.
Or at the very least some average acting by 2 young actors not new to the limelight.
But, my god, WHAT a ginormous disappointment.
The universe’s blackholes combined stood no contest to how much Twilight sucked.

The acting couldn’t be described as anything short of tepid. In all honesty, Britney’s performance in Crossroads was way more credible.

And what was with that vampire family? A freaking 21st century, wannabe-Addams Family.
They go out together to play baseball? Baseball?
Then the showdown between wannabe-Addams Family and the guys in tacky versions of badass-vampire-getups…

Hello? Are you being serious?
I swear on my kitten’s grave, when that showdown happened, I was sitting there and laughing, quite seriously considering the possibility of this movie being a spoof of real vampire movies.

To guide us through a tactlessly explained, poorly strung-together story, is the pale-faced, lip-biting, completely blank and lost looking Bella.
Then we have Edward Cullen, the vampire boy and the love interest.
What is it about him that has got so many irritating girls squealing in my ears about how they love him so?

Sure, cute smile, nice hairdo. Broodingly quiet, so a bit interesting. And his pale as dead skin and creepy ogling pretty much had the vampire thing down. He uses his super vampire agility to take the girl piggy-back-riding through the woods, fun. But otherwise, a thoroughly forgettable performance.

It’s hard to choose which was more embarassing, the emotionless acting, the total awkward non-chemistry between the girl and the vampire, or the movie’s painfully unsuccesful attempt at combining the vampire tale with puppydog love.

This 2008 Giant Flop apparently did quite the contrary of flopping at the Box Office.
How is this possible, I ask you?
Is everybody mad or is my opinion just so freakishly warped? 😛

Piggy back ride! whee!
  1. Gehan says:

    lol well, the book has a large fan following, so obviously they all flocked to see the movie version.. and yes, the movie raked in cash but got a pretty sad ratin on, which is the final word on movies… of course, they said it was cos o da low budget, which they are plannin on fixin in the sequel.. yes, there is a sequel.. :Di havent seen it yet, but one bored evening perhaps i will chk it out…

  2. AmethystSoul says:

    Simple, really. Movies based on books generally suck in comparison to the book. Book sucked ergo the movie sucked even more.To be fair, tho, I haven’t really read the book. I just saw it at sarasavi today and picked it up for a quick look-see. What I read = boring. And I usually like that kind of new-girl-mysterious-boy teen romance.

  3. theselittlearthquakes says:

    He is a good looking lass, I must admit.I haven’t seen the movie yet, but by looking at the trailer, I thought i’d get a glimpse on how ‘wowzorzz’ this film.The trailer looks like shit.But I guess I’ll have to reserve my comments till I see the movie.I think it’s his hair do that does it.

  4. Azrael says:

    Vampires in LOVE??? Vampires gone mushy mushy over a human? Who ever has heard of such blasphemy. It’s a disgrace to the great vampire nation. So yes, I refuse to see this movie :PNow Underworld, that’s how Vampires should behave 🙂

  5. Gehan says:

    yes, all vampires should share kate beckinsale’s affinity to leather… :Dwell at least the female vampires.. lol…

  6. TheWhacksteR says:

    now they should make a book like that about Lykans

  7. nikang says:

    Oh Goody! People who think likewise, by the end of the first book I was thinking what the hell was that book all about, Edward Cullen’s good looks?’coz thats all she could go on about. Will be writing a review on it. I can quote cant I? 🙂

  8. Makuluwo says:

    I liked the vampires in Blade the best, guys.And sure you can, nikang. (:

  9. Dili says:

    Surprised you didnt mention the ‘sparkly sparkly’

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