Dear God

Posted: March 11, 2009 in Uncategorized

What with leaving to Mecca and Medina in a week for 7 days of some, um, ‘spiritual cleansing’ (god knows my soul’s in need of some), I thought I’d write out a heartfelt letter to God.

Dear God,

I haven’t really been so good in the past couple of months. Kay fine, I’ve been sorta bad, possibly for the past coupla years or so. Ya know, spiritually and all.

I kind of don’t even call you so much anymore. Besides that time when I had my exams… and that time when I wanted to pass my driving test… and those instinctive OMG moments… and the quickie thankyous when I got the things I wanted.

And this call-you-only-when-I-want-something-done thing, a habit a whole load of my lot happen to put into practice, prolly even makes you go, man you suck, sometimes.

Actually a review of the past 5 years made me realize that I’ve been progressively dissing you, albeit indirectly. The revelation occured when I stumbled across the 7 Deadly Sins on Google and found out there’s not much on the list that I haven’t been guilty of.

Gluttony: I like food. I’m sorry. I don’t even have a fatso metabolism nor am I manic depressive unless I’m PMSing, but I really just like cholesteroley sugary diabetes-inducing food. And a lot of it. Forgive me for all those full jars of Nutella and cookie cartons I ate all by myself.
Greed: Refer above I ate all by myself statement.
Sloth: I’ve slept 15 hours non-stop on normal off days, enjoy telling people to bring things to me than getting them by myself, and have been called a lazy bum on more than 2013 occasions.
Lust: Uh, well this could get awkward on the blogosphere. Will mail you the confessions ASAP in a more private environment ah.
Envy: Oh I bet you knew right away what a monster you’d created when I put that huge louse in Jimbo’s hair in kindergarten cuz he showed off cool Batman action figures that I couldn’t get. How I made him scratch himself for a whole month. Hee hee.
Wrath: My temper’s one of my biggest human flaws as you probably know. Destined to be a stubborn domineering potty mouth, this is quite likely the most harmful of my sins.
Pride: I talk to my reflection about how cool I am. ‘Nuff said.

So now you’re probably all, Dayumn. You godless heathen, you!
Butbutbuuuuut, what about that time when I housed that puppy, and hugged that friend, and fed that Cookie cat, and gave useful advice, and saved that poor cockroach, and things?!
Those count too, no?

Well even if they’re relatively insignificant, you know I’m not that bad, right? Hey it’s not like I’m mugging old ladies or eating babies or something. That’s got to count for something.

Hell doesn’t sound so fun in the books. Anything worse than the heat in Colombo right now has got to be some nasty shite. And I’m not a pedophile or a psychopath (though some may beg to differ about the latter), so cut me a bit of slack will ya?
I promise I’ll be good next week when the plane takes me to spiritualcleansingland. Really.

Who knows? Maybe when I get back, I’ll be changed. Maybe the journey woulda taught me to be a bit more understanding towards peers, stop putting bugs in people’s hair, quit being such a sarcastic bastard, and maybe even cut down on the Nutella.

Not likely?
Yeah I didn’t think so.

With love up to the sky,

  1. Anonymous says:

    Dear Maks, don’t worry, be happy. Life’s too short to worry about the small shit, I should know. I totally get the growing up is a painful experience… just be true to yourself, stop to smell the flowers, and oh yeah, “On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.” Also remember that you become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed” and its the time that you spend on someone or something that makes that someone or something more important than someone else s something/ someone.Suggested reading material – “The Little Prince” and “Mister God, this is Anna”Your loving, caringGod

  2. Sabby says:

    You funny little thing =)

  3. Azrael says:

    God has his work cut out with you 😀

  4. Unsilent says:

    Haha I hope God doesnt read your evilness post *oh noes*

  5. aufidius says:

    I have never had the opportunity myself, but you have got a great opportunity, make the most of it 🙂 well i dont know about how you will feel, but the most unlikeliest of my friends have said that its a phenomenal experience!All the best! Pray for me tooo!! i need a lot of it 🙂 have been away from computer vices (like fb and blogging) these days, due to!

  6. FINroD says:

    have fun woman… or rather have a good spiritual cleansing experience.. hehe.. pray for me as wel.. =D

  7. Sachintha says:

    HAHAHHAHAH you’re cracking me up man!If god reads this, don’t worry you’d be excused!:PHave fun lady!

  8. blackexists says:

    lol.. loved the post! 😀 “Anything worse than the heat in Colombo right now has got to be some nasty shite.” 😀 lmaohopw you have a good trip and come back spiritually “cleansed.” (but for the butella fetish – that one seems too good to let go of 😀 )hugs

  9. Paparé Boy says:

    :DHave a great trip, dude. 🙂

  10. AmethystSoul says:

    You’re going to Mecca? 0_oGo with God. Hope you come back with none of the nasty and all of the good. 😀

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