I’m in love

Posted: May 12, 2009 in Uncategorized

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been slipping back into a comfy emogirl niche I was in, back during my A/L exams.

No I don’t sit in my room slitting my wrists and writing death poetry. 😛

But it’s a feeling of emptiness, a meaninglessness if you will.
Why do I do the things I do or wake up in the morning or work or study or any of it?
What’s the ultimate point? Or the final goal?

Religious philosophy would say it’s for your next life.
But then the fame or fortune or social stability we strive for everyday in this life all seem purposeless in that light.

Non religious philosophy would say it’s for enjoyment till death when you pop out of existence.
But living life just for a temporary endorphin high makes life seem just as pointlessly frivolous.

No I’m not going to Off myself (sorry, padashow, I’m sure you would have liked that), but I’ve just figured out that though there is probably a purposeful way of living life, I’m not living it.

The things that people say are important and give meaning to their lives, I don’t care about.
Apathetic and discontented.

But when I was with her, everything made sense.
Do you know what it’s like to fit into something so effortlessly, and you realize this was exactly what you were born to do?
That was what it was like with her.

With Makkah, in the middle east.
Sounds absurd since life there is such a contrast to the almost-2o years I’ve lived in Sri Lanka, my home which I nevertheless love with all my heart.

But in Makkah, something’s different. There’s a freshness in the air when you wake up and you know there’s things to do.
Not paperwork, not cleaning up the house, not installing the new hard drive.
Just a walk down the street, to the mosque, and the silent rhythm of that world wraps its arms around you like a mother would.

I can’t explain it.
And I suppose that is the case with unconditional love.

Hollow inside, till we meet again, Makkah.

  1. Dayaan says:

    Wow, you just described my life haha.Touching read :)…

  2. Anonymous says:

    I succeeded with two.1-NB2-CBSee Charm Bracelets blog. Next is you Makuls. Stand by. Chilli Choco

  3. Makuluwo says:

    @Dayaan- Thanks man. 🙂 @Chilli- Bring it. 😛

  4. That Girl says:

    ok my spellings screwed..but ur talking abt Mecca ya?? =)was there last year. and really it was everything and more then i ever imagined it to be. Felt like a completely different person there. It has to be hands down one of the best places i’ve ever been too =) (really hoping i’m on the same page here)=)

  5. Makuluwo says:

    Haha That Girl, yep we’re on the same page. 😀 Sigh. Just aching to get back!

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