So THAT’s why they call it a Vanity Table!

Posted: May 19, 2009 in Uncategorized

I had to write something recently in relation to a Salon.
So I step into this beauty parlour, first time I’m stepping into one btw (true story!), if you don’t count the occasional trip to the barber for a little trimming.

And, by god, I was blown away.
Have you been inside a beauty salon? Do you know of the intricate inner workings of these little bee hives?

It’s insanity, I tell you.

I’m sitting there thinking, alright I need to take pictures of someone putting make-up on someone’s face, hm should take 20 minutes tops.

The clock’s ticking. The woman is fixing the model’s hair alone for the past one hour.
What is she doing?
I see some gelling going on, and a flash of aluminium foil.
Then there’s some vigorous brushing and blow-drying, repetitively.
This continues in a loopy cycle.

With the last final flicks of a few loose strands, the model’s hair looks nice.
I think you might’ve been able to achieve the same look with a hairbrush in 10 minutes.
But I’m not a hair expert so what do I know.

Then there’s the make-up process.
Guys, do you have any idea what most women go through to look good? Do you even notice the difference?
I know they do it to look great for themselves but I’m sure looking great for their men is part of the intention.

First, there’s a lady holding a thread, one end of the strand pivoted from between her teeth, and she’s using the thread to remove strands of unwanted hair from this other lady’s face.
A 45 minute process usually.

Then there’s a lot of painting.
Painting eyebrows, painting lips, nails, cheeks.
Oh no, NOT freestyle painting, as you might previously have misconceived!
It’s not just boxes of pastel powder and colouring stuff.
This is serious business.

It’s a rigorous process, of finding suitable hues, research on the latest trends in powder shading, combining the right colours, and applying these colour-combos in as TINY a space as the line beneath your eye.

Did you know of such a marvel as the nose cut?
Dark shades of foundation is applied around the NOSE, to make it look shapelier!

So much manpower, so much time and effort.
It’s a lot of work.

I, for one, don’t wear any make-up, besides the occasional kohl.
I don’t have anything against people who do, just that I can’t be arsed.
So purely from the point of view of an ignoramus in matters of make-up and the art of ‘beautificiation’, I ask you, why?
So much money, paint, powder and endless hours of dedicated forehead-sweat-inducing concentrated work…
then the Colombo heat goes and melts it all off at the end of the day.
Really, girls, why bother?

  1. aufidius says:

    heh! something that i have always been intrigued about myself! good observation!

  2. Sachintha says:

    Make-up does help people to get laid.Trust me.

  3. DeeCee says:

    because. stop questioning dayumyouuuuu…!!!!

  4. greene says:

    whenever i come to this page i end up with a weird beat in my head. and yet i keep coming again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. do it again. *little jiggle* its a fucking shame

  5. PseudoRandom says:

    Coming from a girl, this is hilarious :DI love wearing make-up. It’s so much fun! Experimenting with colours, shades, shapes, ‘looks’ (e.g. minimal, sweet, sexy) etc. etc. πŸ˜€ I treat it like a hobby :-)I remember the first time I wore make-up properly, my father told me to go and ‘wipe that muck off’ before leaving the house :-(. Ten years later, he saw a photo of me and said that my make-up was perfect :-). That felt good.And as for the heat melting it off, if you use the right primer, that won’t happen πŸ˜‰

  6. macadamia nut says:

    Looool! Good one! This is so true! Everytime I get my eyebrows done I end up in tears and swear never to do it again, but two weeks later….. !

  7. Makuluwo says:

    @aufidius, macadamia nut- πŸ™‚ @Sachintha- Shaa you say that as though you speak from experience. πŸ˜€ @DeeCee- Nev0r! Bahaha!@greene- Yeeez your resistance is no match for my beckoning playlist. ;)@PseudoRandom- You got me thinking.. just like canvas painting or diary entries don’t really have much constructive purpose, maybe it’s a form of expression?

  8. blackexists says:

    lol – gotta go with pseudo here~! πŸ˜€ luuurve make up – specially eye makeup πŸ˜€ lol abut the eyebrows though – painful!!! but hey – no pain no gain. πŸ™‚ nice post though – makes me wonder how come guys never have to worry about stuff like that. hmph.

  9. queenofdreams says:

    Wow – and I thought I was part of a lost species in being a girl who didn’t have a clue about make-up :)Good Gosh, And even I am not THAT green. You mean you seriously have never been to a beauty parlour before? :S20 minutes? HAHAHAHA πŸ˜€

  10. Gadgetgirl says:

    Lol @Sachintha . You got that right! ;D

  11. greene says:

    ok, this is just not funny anymore. i was about to hit the sack and like i’ve got ‘i was stabbed by satan’ by that dread lock man in my head now. that bastard. satan couldve given the bugger at least a haircut while he was at it. the stingy turd burgher

  12. TSC says:

    @Sach : Ohhh? :D@Makuluwa : mind boggling, yeh? πŸ™‚

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