You find them lurking around MC and other malls, standing there in a group of two to seven, ogling madly at anything that moves.
If you appear muslim, you’ll likely receive the standard salamalaikum, maiini! in a tone of voice that was meant to be seductive but comes out plain creepy (maiini means sis-in-law though, wtf?), or it’s the equally tepid hi sweetie or hey baby or *anythingbutcharming grin.*
Their victims are usually girls between 13 and 25, often groups of them, but unlike hardcore creeps, they slither away quickly if a grumpy looking older person steps into the scene and gives them the stink-eye.
The funny thing is this doesn’t seem to be a passing fancy, like it is for most guys who stare a little or let out a wolf-whistle if they see someone good-looking on their way to work or something.
These guys just seem to stand around all day, on several days, in the same spot, with nothing much else to do than stare at girls and repeatedly fail at getting them to be non-repulsed by their advances.
Atleast if you’re going to choose this as your permanent vocation, make some real effort will ya:
Greesy gel-bathed hair, wannabe-preppy clothes (preppy is bad enough), a clear lack of PR skills judging from the lame one-liners and the scary staring, these guys are in dire need of social grooming (a polite way of saying Rehab).
Some flip out their phones and take pictures of the female passers-by, some strut around accentuating the ridiculousness of their droopy at-the-butt jeans and silly bandanas, some even go the extra mile by walking up to total strangers and saying u r very beauty or can i have ur number? or worse, actually giving them their name and number in a piece of exercise-book paper.
While the more faint-hearted grimace in horror and walk away really fast, girls have now become less tolerant in their responses to such weirdo behaviour: ranging from gestures of contempt (The Finger in other words), cruel rejection (‘Uh no. Loserface.’) to all out stinging pointing-and-laughing.
As a result, Creepy Godayas have widened their means of creepiness by approaching random females via Network sites like Facebook or the most infamous CG haven, hi5.
Where do these guys come from anyway? Are they exclusive to Sri Lanka or is it a worldwide phenom? What are they doing wandering places with that blank expression on their faces except for the occasional skin-crawling grins to accompany revolting lines from the book titled How To Fail At Hitting On People?
Are they coming from some secret lab that is breeding a line of highly (sexually and otherwise) repressed men who have no other way of expressing themselves? Why do they wear so much hair gel? Why will no one buy them belts to make sure their pants don’t sit on their butts the way they do?
So many questions. Will they ever be answered?