Don’t you hate it when furniture jumps out of nowhere and hits you in the knee?

Posted: June 14, 2009 in Uncategorized

Well that’s got to be the longest title I’ve ever used for a post. 😛

I’ve always been a bit of a clumsy klutz.
Whether it’s stubbing my toe on a table leg, getting my finger sandwiched in a door hinge (ouch!), or running into things, I’ve been there.
I’m contemplating asking Warner Bros. to sign me up to play that clumsyass goofball role they’ve got in every comic cartoon.

Friends claim I just do it on purpose to make em laugh (if only!), some say (and I vehemently agree) that all non-living objects are just out to get me, while others have other fascinating theories…

“Perhaps your body is struggling to keep balance due to its disproportionate nature.”
What are you implying? -_-
“Your cranium is a little big.”
WHAT? My head is perfectly normal-sized!
“Sigh. These are the first stages of denial you know.”
STFU before I headbutt you with my massive skull.

And that was the end of that conversation.
So apparently I have a slightly bigger-than-average head.
My theory is that while evolving from a humongous chubby toddler (I was a miniature sumo wrestler) to a reeeally skinny teenager, my head forgot to reduce in size in proportion to the rest of my skinny self.

Or I just have no sense of direction and daydream too much to pay attention to oncoming inanimate objects.
The cranium theory is more plausible though, surely. 😛

Whatever the reason, clumsiness though often painful is incentive for some hilarious ‘The other day-‘ chitchat sessions.
The latest incident was when I went down to the pier last weekend.
Seated on the rocks and watching the tides crash into them, I hadn’t noticed the tide rising, and then, SPLASH! big wave hits me square in the face.

People ogling. Awkward. Must pretend like I meant that to happen.
So I wear this ah-how-refreshing-! grin on my face, patting the water off my (urgh! drenched!) clothes as though dusting off a bit of dirt, and shimmy on up to a higher rock.
Good save, I kid myself.

Then there was the time I was checking out bracelets at the store and my own dangly bracelet got thoroughly tangled onto one on the rack.
Stupidannoyinghookthinggrrahssddjasd;’@%$#!

“Hi, madam, may I help you?”
No, I’m fine, heh. Just checking out this lovely bracelet. *stops struggling for freedom of wrist, pretending to examine bracelet on rack*
“Ok.”
(Ten minutes later)
“Um, madam?” [says suspicious saleslady, who is ready to call the police for fear that crazy girl standing in one spot with her hand on an item is in the middle of a very stupid shoplifting heist]
Yes, my hand is stuck, get me out. -_-

Then there was the time I ran into a concrete wall, while playing run-and-catchers in the school corridors and not looking straight ahead.
You know how cartoons show stars and birds travelling around in circles above a woozy person’s head?
The yellow canaries, the fireworks, I saw it all.

Doesn’t it just suck when your foot somehow ends up standing in a paperbin, or your shirt gets hooked on the edge of a mat-slide leaving you dangling in mid air, or you drop a box in a shop sending thousands of tiny dotpins scattering all across the shop floor, or you get stuck in a dress for ten minutes (and your head still hasn’t emerged via the dress’s head-hole), and of course there’s the several falling-off-chair/bed occasions-

What?
You’ve never experienced any of that?

Oh. Er. Um.. yeah.. heh heh… me neither. *walks off whistling*

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Comments
  1. Chavie says:

    the walking into concrete wall sounds especially painful! 😉 I dunno about you but I seem to get into these small accidents when I'm mad at something, more often than not… :S

  2. Jack Point says:

    Stubbing little toes is a painful and although not very common experience for me. Barking my shins is another but shaving cuts are the most common and the worsrt

  3. Harumi says:

    I used to have that issue too when I was in my primary school.. and the first few years of secondary. I would fall often and scrape my knees, stub my toes against the legs of chairs, tables or anything else lying in the vicinity, and yep that most painful finger-press.. -__- Thought I'd be accident-prone for life! But luckily it doesn't happen anymore.. =DSo I'm sure you'll grow out of it too.. hehe..

  4. Politically Incorrect says:

    The getting stuck in a dress thing is one of the Dude Who's Up There's favourite practical joke to play on me. Stupid salespeople. I ASK for Medium (Size 8 or something) and what do I get?A FRICKING SIZE 2 WHICH LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME!!!*fumes*Ok, that's enough rambling for a comment. I'll leave you to it, then.*walks off whistling as well*

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