Looking Back

Posted: July 2, 2009 in Uncategorized

I was telling a friend of mine who still aches from the loss of a best friend, that she should stop living in the past, and that the past has no connection to one’s present or future.

But every now and then I wonder how far this is even humanly possible.

Rummaging through the messy internals of my cupboard, I find white cloth splattered with holi powder in hues of blues and purples, still fresh with the laughs and madness of the last day of school.

Tattered shoes that spoke essays of how they used to run through busy corridors and playgrounds and muddy puddles.

Old perfume whose fragrance always takes me back to some day where I sat sprawled in the grass and sun in some garden in Nuwera, plucking he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not petals off a sunflower.

Notes, hundred of raggy notes, with scribbles from people I’ve been with, some not as much anymore and some still a phone call away. A past joy that sat static in ink on paper.

CDs full of songs that could instantly transport me to another era, specific to people and places that they signified, some memories of wistful nostalgia and others that made me hate the song.

Are we our pasts? Or were we our pasts?
Things change and it’s only normal for people to evolve over time, and a reflection of the past serves no other purpose than for some fanciful entertainment.
Moving on from the fears and loves and nuances of yesteryear is easy once you realize that the past is like a framed painting of a man you used to know: finite, indifferent and gone.

And yet, sometimes one can’t help but pick up that painting, feel the rough edges of the picture, the contours of the paint and canvas, and imagine on the inner eye, maybe just for a second, that you were standing next to the man in the frame once again.

  1. Lady divine says:

    IT's always easier said that done..but eventually, one day…realisation does hit.. and yet, moving on is a tough task..

  2. The Single Couple says:

    great post!~*~*~I can't wait all my lifeOn a street of broken dreams.~Journey, "It Could Have Been You"~*~*~

  3. Sigma says:

    Its good to remember your past, occasionally to even go back, but you might find that with each passing year, the present becomes more important and future an exciting unknown

  4. Chavie says:

    well, reliving past memories isn't bad I guess… after all, we are a product of our past… so we should take care not to forget… 🙂

  5. niroshinie says:

    Nice post! I guess our past defines us. Memories make us who we are..But memories are tricky things..being subject to many twists and turns inside our minds with little regard to facts. 🙂

  6. Harumi says:

    Such a common thing, yet you've put it so nicely. Yep, past is already a part of us. It's these experiences, lessons and knowledge of that past that keeps us going. Without it, we're nothing. ^__^But then again.. I sure wish I could remember the crucial stuff at least cuz, I always seem to forget the names of my old schoolmates, batchmates n colleagues! o__O

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