The brain is a snarky weasel.

Posted: August 7, 2009 in Uncategorized

The one inside the cranium of someone with a screwed up body clock at least.
Mine seems to shut off at the most inappropriate times, but it shifts to hypermode when I want it to abort.

Example #1. Location: conference room.
“-And that is the purpose of this entire meeting and the very essence of this project’s concept. Makuluwo?”
“You raised your hand.”
No I was trying to swat a fly over my head. The bastard got away.
“Oh. Any questions?”
Not really.
“Would you like to tell us what you think about the whole thing?”
What whole thing?
“What I was talking about for the past hour.”
Oh.. yeah… well, you’re quite right.
About.. the… core essence of this project. It is.. in alignment.. with the.. uh, mission statement and our.. expectations…? *grin and nod*
“Maybe next time when you fall asleep at a meeting, you could consider not resting your head over the conference table the whole time, would make it less obvious don’t you think?”

Example #2. Location: public event.
“What the hell are you doing!”
Ahh? Just.. 5 minutes.. *’poddak inna’ hand gesture*
“You are such a weirdo, I swear.”
“Could you just go and lie down please?! I mean do you have to-”
*Incoherent mumbling about marshmallows and a yacht*
“That’s it. Get up.”
I AM up, just wait will you..
“You can’t just walk up to random walls in hallways and lean your face on them and fall asleep, Maks, it’s just not done.”

Example #3. Location: home in bed.
Hmm did I switch off the tap in the bathroom.
Yeah you did, shut up and go to sleep.
Yeah ok.. hey I have an awesome idea about that thing I need to do.
Think about it in the morning, fool.
I would have forgotten about it in the morning, I have to get up and write it down.
K that’s over with now. Sleep.
Mm. I wonder if that girl I saw today was wearing hair extensions.
It looked like hair extensions a bit, yeah..
Shut up.
Ok, falling asleep now… shit, I forgot to put that book in my bag for tomorrow’s outing.
Do it in the morning.
I’ll forget, I have to go put it in now.
Fine. Now. Sleepy.. getting sleepy… think about a calm sea…
Caju nuts are tasty.
What is wrong with you? You have only 5 hours left now. FALL ASLEEP.
Kkk. 5 hours. Five. If you think of a word for long enough, it starts to sound weird. Five. Five.
Shut upppp.
Five. Why do we have five fingers. How cool would it be if each finger had tiny branched minifingers.
I need to sleep. Yes.
Right. Sleeping now.

7 minutes later
That’s not my name, that’s not my name, da da da.
I caaan’t. The stupid Ting Tings song won’t shut up in my head.

  1. Chavie says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! duuuude, falling asleep on a wall? O.o lmao! xD

  2. Dee says:

    ur so cute. heeh 🙂 and i lurrve that song…

  3. Dee says:

    areeee youuuuu callinggg, me darrrlinggg…? :P:D

  4. Just Me says:

    Adorable 🙂 Huge hugs

  5. She Who Eats Cookies says:

    Hahahaha LUZRific to the extreme :Dgoooood stuff, jiji-er!

  6. Angel says:

    Lol… better luck next time, your sleepiness!

  7. greene says:

    well. i dont think its possible to have sex and sleep at the same time… that sucks

  8. Makuluwo says:

    @greene- What is it with you and your incessant sex-related comments? 😛

  9. greene says:

    probably all the deep rooted childhood psychological scars neetly coupled with some severe and extreme suicidal tendencies

  10. Makuluwo says:

    @greene- Wow I was expecting a 'meh' for an answer, but okay then. o_O

  11. greene says:

    ooooooook. sorry about that. my pervert slash stalker tourettes is acting up again. love your post by the way. its brilliant

  12. Makuluwo says:

    Uh thanks. 😐

  13. Dayaan says:

    "Why do we have five fingers. How cool would it be if each finger had tiny branched minifingers."I can't help but keep thinking about this.It's brilliant :O.

  14. Jack Point says:

    Born under the curse of the Sandman?

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