One McJoke Burger Please?

Posted: August 19, 2009 in Uncategorized

Walked into McDonalds yesterday, been ages since I sat inside a fast food restaurant.
Things can’t have changed too dramatically since the last time no?
click on the links in the post for a more visual understanding.

Aahh beloved burgers, it has been a while has it not? I said, before walking to the counter recalling the good old days.

When they used to paint kids’ faces and hands, and I used my wiley charms on the paintman to borrow a paintbrush (i.e. stole it when he wasn’t looking) to paint a toddler’s lower-face region entirely purple.
When I made a KFC golden chicken order at the waiter just to see his face scrunch up into a pre-sob.
When I flew down that kiddie’s slide and crashed into a flabbergasted nine year old.

Fond childhood memories. :’)
Ohwait, that was last year.

So I say to the counterlady, hey give me a chicken burger. Simple enough right?
‘Chicken burger?’ she says, utterly perplexed by such a demand. ‘There are many variants of chicken burger blahblahblah I want to bore people at the counter to death blahblahblah.’

After I give her the huh-look, she says, ‘small burger or big burger?’ while sniggering inwardly.
110 bucks is less than 200 bucks, therefore I say 110 buck burger.
So economical, we struggling paupers are.

So I take my burger back to my table and open it.
Two buns. A single slice of meat. Sauce. Onions.
Onions? ONIONS?!
I raise the so-called ‘burger’ and examine it, flip it around a bit, poke it, wondering if perhaps the lettuce and cheese and mayyonaise are in hiding.
No such luck.

Is this some kind of sick joke? IS IT?
If I wanted to eat a bunnis with chicken in it, I would go to the friggin chicken bunnis man, McDonalds.
Laughing at the absurdity of such a sight as a lettuce-less mayyonaise-less sesameseed-less ‘burger’, I go back to the counter and ask them if it is a joke.
Am I being punk’d, doucheba- uh I mean counterlady?

Well not really. But I suppressed the urge to do this and did this instead.
‘Well I asked you and you did order an ordinary small chicken burger, you should have said so if you wanted our McSpice somethinsomethin nanana I’m so annoying!’
So I gave her the frightening smiling-outside-but-inside-I-want-to-stab-you look and said, can I get a REAL burger then please?

Then she gave me a smile that was like..
and I finally got a normal burger, having had to pay for both it and the shitexcuseforaburger.

  1. saintfallen says:

    YOU!go see!http://talkchalk.wordpress.comand COMMENT!!!thank you πŸ˜›

  2. saintfallen says:

    oh and nice post!ROFL πŸ˜€

  3. Harumi says:

    Nicely and amusingly narrated Maks! And you seem to be good at finding very unusual yet hilarious pics on the net.. =D

  4. Chavie says:

    "If I wanted to eat a bunnis with chicken in it, I would go to the friggin chicken bunnis man, McDonalds." hahahaha xD nice post Maks! πŸ˜‰

  5. greene says:


  6. saintfallen says:

    in case you can't find your way's easier to browse through em by clicking Archive (:

  7. Makuluwo says:

    @Harumi- It IS one of my hidden talents after all. :D@Chavie- Srsly! I'm tempted to go write CHICKEN BUNNIS KADEY over the McD sign now. >.< @saintfallen- 'in case you can't find your way'?! I am insulted good sir. πŸ˜› I'm a bit of a webcomics dork. The chalks, they are the funkay. @greene- What are you still on about! πŸ˜›

  8. greene says:

    i cannot believe youre breaking up with me 😦 i mean have you even seen my abs. and after all we've been through also. i've named my pet water buffalo after you and this is the thanks i get *patient sniffs turning into full wails with boogers*

  9. Makuluwo says:

    Haha! How utterly tragic, I wasn't even aware of the pre-breakup relationship! πŸ˜›

  10. Girigoris the One says:

    What a hero u are!!!Thankfully u didn't have to eat the snot & spit layered burgers the next people to be served got as a result of u pissing off the crewWell done

  11. greene says:

    post breakup sex πŸ˜€

  12. Makuluwo says:

    @Grigoris- Lmao! Thankfully. :D@greene- No. πŸ˜›

  13. Dee says:

    rofl!!!!!!! man that cracked me UP. I hate Mc -_-

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