Death to Commercials + Bohemian Rhapsody by Mr ChubChubs

Posted: August 25, 2009 in Uncategorized

“I have something very important to tell you,” said Mulder, looking Scully right in the eye.
X-Files rerun.
Pivotal moment.
Exciting.

“I-”
“MULDER, NO, LOOK BEHIND YOU!” screams Scully with that look.
Mulder spins around. His eyes widen. “OH M-”

LALALALLAA. Children frolicking in the meadows.
Voiceover guy: Anchor Plus milk, nutritious and wholes-

Wtf. -_-

Why do they do that?
Repetitively throw in shit advertisements (did I mention repetitively?) SUPER-abruptly in the middle of movies or shows or matches or cartoons, just to piss viewers off.

At least if the adverts were actually shorter or remotely tolerable.
Is it even legal for that kottu-me ad to be that friggin long?
Hello, 5 minutes commercial time, people, GTFO.

And what about Teleseen Marketing.
I know you, acne/teeth-whitener lady. You’re that actress from that bygone soap opera.
How did you get demoted to selling shit products. Could it be that it has anything to do with the fact that I can practically see your eyeballs moving back and forth over the teleprompter.

And what about you bastards on the treadmills and the whatchamacallits.
You guys are in shape. But just stop it ok?
Nobody is going to get on your stupid machine and end up with those omgwut 6 packs or super-toned legs in a matter of months moneybackguaranteed.
So shut it.

Also, Fair & Lovely. There’s Fair & Handsome, and Fair & Teens now, for guys and teenagers. I ask you, what the douche is the difference?
Moreover, is it just me or is the entire get-whiter-or-you’ll-never-get-laid propaganda just insanely blatant racism?

What are they really trying to achieve with the freaky deaky repetitive commercials?
I mean, about thrice in half hour is OK, but sometimes it’s like every five minutes.
And then, you find you know all the words to all the adverts and the stupid commercial song gets stuck in your head till you die.

If commercials were a person, I’d stab him.
And that’s me in a good mood.
This awesome CollegeHumour clip is the inside of my head during the horrific ad binges.

Oh, and Mr ChubChubs is a big Freddie M fan. So after one too many Red Bulls, the little critter went a little nuts so to speak:

[ChubChubs audio clips have been removed temporarily]

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Comments
  1. saintfallen says:

    you're a fucking loon 😐

  2. Chavie says:

    I hate it when they only show 5 balls of an over because of the ad crap! :/ and even when they're showing the match they send a scrolling ad over the damn scorecard! :/ :/and don't get me started on that kottu-me dude!! ARGHHH! :@ 😉

  3. Harumi says:

    Yeah, these commercials are so annoying.. not just tv shows, they've even invaded the news.. the only thing I regularly watch on TV. -__- I wonder if they can't have a separate channel solely for commercials and leave us in peace.. =DThat blanket ad was really hilarious and love the song of Mr. ChubChubs. =D

  4. i truly love your own writing choice, very charming.
    don’t give up as well as keep writing because it simply just very well worth to follow it,
    impatient to see a whole lot more of your current article content, goodbye!

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