Mission Cookie Jar

Posted: September 15, 2009 in Uncategorized

Someone once said the difference between good kids and bad kids is, the good ones just never get caught.

Mission Cookie Jar

Age 9
Boondi placed in cookie jar on fourth shelf of pantry.
Boondi-overdose strictly prohibited, due to mild sweet-tooth induced tooth decay and characteristic sugar-rush behaviour.
Enemy: Parental Unit
Mission: Must steal Boondi

Synopsis of strategy to be used: sneak past room of Parental Unit past 11pm. No slippers. No lights on. Carry keytag-light for minimal sight in kitchen.
Be aware of where Parental Unit is at all times.

Back up Plan B in case of ambush: Hide behind closest furniture/ Bathroom-excuse.

Back up Plan C: Close eyes and throw hands forward, pretend to be sleepwalking.

Back up Plan D: Faint (pretend). Will distract Parental Unit from why you’re up at this time.

Scapegoat (if all else fails): Sibling. “I was stealing Boondi for him.”

Phase #1> Sneak past room into pantry. Accomplished. Time: 11.15.
Phase #2> Enter pantry. Locate Jar with keytag-light. Affirmative.
Phase #3> Climb atop stool, then atop pantry table, obtain Jar.

Right foot slips. Hits rack of spoons, that clash onto marble floor.
Facepalm.

Time: 11.25. Parental Unit will take precisely 4 minutes to awake from stupor and make it to pantry.
Option #1, grab Jar and run to headquarters before ambush.
Or #2-

“Ahem, what’s going on here?”

Faint.

“It’s funny how you were nice enough to climb off the table before ‘fainting’, Maks.”

Damn it. Foiled again.

I get off the floor, brush myself off, and contemplate. Plan D had failed. Too late in the game for Plans B or C. Scapegoat, too weak an excuse for direct confrontation.
If I admit guilt now, and turn myself in with dignity… Mission FAIL.

Maybe I could fake an asthma attack like that guy in that show-

Turns out I had what is now known as the jiji expression on my face during this contemplation, and little to my knowledge, it was working on the Parental Unit like a charm.

Sent to bed, with a kind handful of Boondi. Less than what I expected to nab in my cavernous pockets, but hey, there was always tomorrow.

Scribbled down in my little strategy handbook>
Demote Plan B to Plan E. New Plan B: the jiji expression.

Hasn’t let me down ever since. 😉

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Comments
  1. Sachintha says:

    Hhahahaha now that was a gem!

  2. Azrael says:

    Wow, maaara plan… you should work for a military strategic unit. Stick to the planning and let someone else carry it out. I'm guessing field work is just not your thing. 😛

  3. Chavie says:

    ev0l!!! xDso this is what the famous 'jiji' stands for? 😉

  4. Jack Point says:

    Why you little rascal….:)

  5. Sigma says:

    Aww, poor lil Mak's…..

  6. ~ lo$t $oul ~ says:

    no background score..?!?!?!

  7. Angel says:

    I love boondi too… can't blame you Maks… and having giggles imagining you standing all "jiji-fied" in the middle of the kitchen!

  8. greene says:

    i believe this is how butch cassidy started off

  9. Gonzo says:

    ROTFL… Would suggest the AQUA album for a background score. Jiji. Did I dhoo that right? Anyhoo, Ursy here, and I am BACK!

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