Today, we lay to rest a very dysfunctional beloved piece of crap.

Posted: September 26, 2009 in Uncategorized

My computer has finally croaked.
The motherboard fried from it being left on too long. Weakling!
Sigh. R.I.P you binary second hand piece of sh- oh who am I kidding?
I miss it already.

It was crap, compared to the other two in the house.
The screen was wonky, doing that occasional annoying white-lines-suddenly-appearing thing or just screwing up the colour scheme and making purple look like grey and green look like brown.
Then sniggering to itself and such.
But then I’d put my hand on the monitor, shake it a bit, and say, calm down man.
And it would.
Like a little kid who just needed attention.

There were great times. When videos would stream even faster than on the other PCs.
Or when it would act suspiciously uncooperative when someone else tried to use it.
And there were bad times. When it froze or rebooted for no reason.
When someone would walk in to find me making angry unwholesome gestures at it.
When I would fantasize about smashing its face in with my cricket bat.

But like a smelly, pesky, dysfunctional old grandmother, who refused to take a bath for weeks or kept interrupting convos with lame old-lady jokes, and yet knew everyone loved her because she was part of the family- my PC was the smelly, pesky, dysfunctional old grandma I never had.
That is, not to say I usually give my computer baths and involve it in conversation, but you get whaddimean.

Even if my computer had been an intolerable rabidmanchild from hoboland aka Fallen, I would still have preferred it to the acer laptop I am now forced to utilize.
It’s a gay temporary replacement till the PC gets a new motherboard.
I can’t stand laptops, man. Especially slow ones.
This one is so freaking slow (which is, for an ordinary person who possesses an inkling of patience, average speed), and keeps rudely interrupting my work with UR WINDOWS ISN’T GENUINE HAHA U SUK alerts, not to mention some of the keys act like spastic little circus monkeys.
The last time I had to use a laptop for a long time, the heat from the surface made mysterious marks on the small parts of my wrists that sat on it.
Sensitive wrists? Or evil skin-frying laptop?
You tell me.

So, yes. I am computerless. See me weep.
All your collective sympathy may be converted into forms of sugary food items and respectfully mailed to my abode.

  1. Chavie says:

    hahahahaha! :Doh, and yeah, sorry about the PC man… shit happens! :/

  2. deeps says:

    oh dear…this is the same with my computer..ayiyoh i go nuts when the monitor suddenly starts showing diffrent colors…

  3. She Who Eats Cookies says:

    LMAO @ the Fallen bit. Rabidmanchild.. legendary. xDso THAT'S why I haven't seen you around lately… LUZR. When you bury the 'pooter, don't forget to say a few parting words. The old fart deserves it, neh.

  4. Purple Jungi says:

    what a way to boast you have 3 computers at home ? bloated ego perhaps ? humbleness they say is the sign of maturity shifany

  5. Gadgetgirl says:

    Seriously who ever is behind that Purple jungie needs to show off his face. This socks needs to give u a good kick on ur rotten but.

  6. ~ lo$t $oul ~ says:

    Deepest symapthies…!! :'(why do u quote ACER being gay..1?!?!? or did i get it wrong.. 😛

  7. Dee says:

    noooo!! *anguish..he was too..young…too…young…i tell you..

  8. Girigoris the One says:

    "my PC was the smelly, pesky, dysfunctional old grandma I never had"- Both ur grandparents were men?? Its ok, these days da peeps are more open to acceptin ur kind.. Ur parent who had the batty boys as parents would've had a tough time those days tho

  9. greene says:

    a collection of maxi pads would comfortably double as a highly absorbent insane asylum for sheep

  10. Serendib_Isle says:

    Look at the bright side – time to think of switching to Mac! 😉

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