This time of year in Lanka means

Posted: December 23, 2009 in Uncategorized

Everything on TV is a sappy drama about people falling in love and living happily ever after while exchanging cheesy lines that make carebears do the facepalm.

All the radio stations are playing some annoying remix of a hackneyed old christmas carol.

Little children wish we had chimneys over here so an old man in a red suit could visit their living rooms at 1 in the morn. Creepy pedos FTW!
The guy next to you in the bus with the headphones on won’t stop singing along to ‘Let them know it’s Christmas time.’ On repeat.

Old ladies get into cleaning frenzies in the name of the coming ‘new year.’ The house is clean enough OK? Yes, I left that cobweb intact over there intentionally. Die.

People switch to super-sentimental mode without warning. It gets awkward.
Me: Hey man, did you watch Zombieland? Friggin off the hook yo.
Friend: Yeah.. you’re so cool. I love you man. *reaches out for hug*
Me: Uh yeah.. I think I hear my mum calling-
Friend: Your mum’s not even in town. And we’re at the mall.
Me: Yeaahh.. bye.

The hobo down the lane waves frantically and yells marry kreezmaahs miss! at you. Every time you step outside. Every day of December.

Love, sharing, caring, hugging, family, togetherness. i.e. an episode of the Teletubbies.
Except with coloured bulbs and a skinny dude in pregnancy padding and a creepy plastic mask.

NYAHahahahaa.
Have a good one, kids!
It is a FUN time, I cannot lie. A time of fire crackers. Of discounts. And of permission to regale impressionable children with stories about the fat bearded man who ‘likes kids’ and creeps into their houses at night.
No, not Papareboy’s mum, the other guy.
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Comments
  1. Chavie says:

    lol! A Merry Christmas to you too! 🙂

  2. Serendib_Isle says:

    LMAO! Excellent one Maks, love the post!!Oh yeah, Merry Christmas!

  3. Black Rose says:

    Merry X'mas 🙂

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