Death and other trivialities.

Posted: January 12, 2010 in Uncategorized

I randomly found out from someone on MSN today that a friend of mine died.
Someone I’d talked to just two days ago, and laughed about how uncanny his resemblance to Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory was.

Death is random like that. It belittles your existence to the relative nothingness that it is compared to the powers of the universe.
Your goodbye to a good friend can turn into just some guy mentioning your death in passing on the internet and then heading off for dinner.

It makes everything small and pointless; reality check.
It’s his funeral tomorrow.
But why do we go to funerals? If not to just wallow in negative feelings in a monochrome crowd.
Why do they have the person’s body at the funeral, when the person’s already gone?
Funerals just serve a purpose to the living left behind. They get to remember him and cry about him and comfort each other with hugs and resonating sobs.
I don’t want to cry with a bunch of other people with my friend’s soulless body in the room. It seems impersonal and almost macabre.

Death is just part of the process and I accept that with all my heart, but I still tear up invain and my voice cracks invain on the phone despite the acceptance.
I bury myself into work now and can feel myself turning numb to that human-urge to mourn.
Why are we encouraged by the people around us to feel negative emotions in their full force? What do you get from taking these horrible sinking depressive feelings and celebrating them?
‘Don’t keep it in, you need to cry it all out, it’s the healthiest way!’

Maybe letting yourself mourn and wallow for more than a day is the human reaction to death, maybe numbing yourself is inhumane, but I can’t help but think that maybe the human-way isn’t the wisest way when it comes to self-preservation…?
  1. PseudoRandom says:

    I'm sorry to hear about your friend :(I think funerals present an opportunity for closure for those who are left behind, without which they might not be able to move on in life. And it's not always doom and gloom…in remembering the person who has died, they celebrate that person's life. I wasn't able to attend my grandfather's funeral but when I finally did visit the house (a year later), the void was unbearable.As for your last question, the human-way isn't the wisest when it comes to self-preservation…but 'self-preservation' (in my experience) merely delays the inevitable. We all have to deal with our demons some day – we can't hide our heads in the sand forever.

  2. Chavie says:

    I'm sorry about your friend Maks! 😦 *hugs*

  3. Sabby says:

    Sorry about your friend, love.You never quite know what to feel at funerals and it's such a humbling experience, to say the least.

  4. Gadgetgirl says:

    Am sorry to hear. Is it someone I know?Man. Death comes uninvited.

  5. Girigoris the One says:

    Exactly..And its boring to be at a funeral when u don't really care about that person so much nyway

  6. Black Rose says:

    I'm so sorry about your friend love.Huge hugs…

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