The lonely ribbon cake

Posted: February 17, 2010 in Uncategorized

So from the results of the poll, turns out 35% of you guys like jujubees, 47% called me traitor swine, and only just 18% think my face is nize. The last one’s a real shocker, I will assume it is because most of you haven’t seen it.

Conclusion, I like jujubeees. Whatever. I shortly considered the option of moving back to Blogger since the anti-Wordpress uproar from friends, but then when I found Blogger had no Delete All option when it came to posts, I abandoned the thought in a fit of rage.

I had to delete each post manually, Blogger. Ok I had to pay a.. short person to do it.

Fine, I offered a nine year old Pepsi in exchange for clicking the delete button on each post. Don’t judge me, it is Blogger who triggered this corrupt act of child labour. That heartless bastard.

Onto more pressing matters. I took a long walk from Wellawatte to Dehiwela today and stopped at a cake shop. My natural choice was chocolate of course. Many children pointed fondly at the fudge cake and other popular choices.

In the corner I found the lonely ribbon cake. Dejected and lonely and attention craving in its pink and green and white, but a mere passing fad of the 90s. I asked the man, do people buy this ribbon cake anymore. And he said, no ma’am, they do not. I patted the glass in front of the lonely ribbon cake and thought I heard it utter a stifled sob.

It turned out to be the sound the jammed drink-machine was making, but nevertheless.

People always go for the chocolate or cheese or fruit, the more fashionable choices, whilst the dorkily coloured gay named cake sits all alone behind cold glass display doors, looking out upon a cruel inconsiderate world, wondering, hey man, when is anyone gonna give the ribbon cake a chance? I’m a cake too. I’m tasty and creamy too. What does that fgt fruitcake have that I don’t.

There, there, I said comfortingly, before buying it and erasing all traces of its existence. It’ll be ok. It doesn’t matter how pretty you look in the glass box, you’re all going to end up the same masticated blobs in someone’s belly, ribbon cake.

I wish I could say I meant that story to be a metaphor for life and its trivial temporaryness, but really it’s been my 6th piece of cake and this is most certainly the sugar rush talking. Whee.

  1. Sabby says:

    RIP Ribbon Cake.
    The shelf would always miss you.

  2. LOL. funny post. But you are still a traitor. 😦

  3. Chavie says:

    why would you delete all the posts if you wanted to move back there anyway? 😉

    yay for cake! 😀

  4. Gehan says:

    hey there.. new layout is a lot cleaner but perhaps doesnt suit ur blog 😉

    ur blog doesnt have a title.. i think u just inserted the header without typing a name, so it shows up as (title unknown) on feed readers etc..

    and finally, there IS a delete all option in blogger, tho im not sure why u wanna use it.. just go to edit posts-> click select all -> move down the bottom and click delete selected..

    either way.. cheers to the new blog 🙂

    …. yes this has nothing to do with ribbon cake, i know…..

  5. Azrael says:

    Dammit, how can i now eat a Black Forrest without feeling guilty???

    Hah, stoopid Ribbon Cake 😛

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