Scarygurlhormones.

Posted: April 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

Renegade hormones. They’re the world’s biggest threat, second to only Al Qaeda who are second to the teletubbies series. Serious stuff.

People are really, really scary when hormonal. Don’t mean to be sexist but testosterone fuelled men are easier to handle (via pepper spray/cricket bat) than oestrogen and progesterone fuelled women.
Due to hormones controlling general female emotions kinda changing up a little bit during the hormonal phase, symptoms will include fluctuation between tears, rage and lovey doveyness, and back to rage again.   

If you’ve watched Knocked Up you’d know where I’m coming from when I say pregnant women are SCARY, no jokes.
They’re sorta like little hysterical paranoid confusing evul people. Except like, with babies in their tummies, so all is forgiven. Next to this specimen are the PMSing girls, and the menopausing middle aged women. All of them act alike though.

i.e. volatile and scary. I met up with a friend I hadn’t met in ages, who was clearly PMSing. 
PMSgurl: HI.
Me: Hi, man. What’s-
PMSgurl: Don’t you wanna know how my day was? It’s really been a long day.
Me: Oh, what happened?
PMSgurl: My boyfriend is SUCHAJERK. We met up and he knew I was stressed and instead of even asking me what happened he like, brought me flowers and stuff!
Me: That bitch! Wait, what?
PMSgurl: Yeah it’s the end of the week and he thinks just cuz he gets me flowers he’ll get some this weekend, what an insensitive little-
Me: Maybe he just wanted to give you flowers, man.
PMSgurl: Nobody listens to me, nobody understaaahhnds!
Me: You’re PMSing aren’t you.
PMSgurl: That’s besides the point! Maybe these are actual feelings OK! Stop trying to psychoanalyze everything! GAWD.
Me: Ok I’m getting a little scared over here. Can you stop flaring your nostrils like that? Here, have a drink-
PMSgurl: NOOOAAARR! *gets up and goes to trample Japan* 

Yeah. Hey I’m a girl too and I know when I’m PMSing and I restrict human contact when I am, lest I keell someone. Or worse, get teary eyed and make awkward moments with them.   
PMSgurls are less psycho on fellow girls though. I hear it’s the guys who get the real treatment.

One moment she’s acting totally normal, watching TV with him. The next, the commercial is on and she turns to him and says, ‘We don’t do anything exciting anymore. Have you gotten bored of me?’
The guy obviously not knowing where the hell this is coming from, is caught unawares, and confused and wanting to placate her, says, ‘Of course not, sweetie!’
‘SWEETIE? Don’t patronize me thinking I’ll drop the subject!’
And the guy scared for his life at this point is really thinking WTF, but instead says ‘that’s a nice dog’ at the Dulux commercial hoping the woman’s momentary schizophrenia will die down if normal convo is initiated. 

Bad move. Nice knowin’ ya, bro. Srsly, how do half the guys deal with it? The presence of boobs just makes it all worth it I’m guessing? *facepalm*

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Comments
  1. Dili says:

    oh dear heavens that actually happened to me, only it wasnt TV, it was Savoy 2 @ intermission LOL

    Maks i love the way you can put a smile even on the scariest situations

    😆

  2. purpleboxers says:

    haha awesome post 😀

    last time that happen to me i was in a chem class, yes, WTF!?

  3. chathuraw says:

    hahaha… brilliant post… 😀

  4. Jack Point says:

    Excellent post. Two key bits of info needed

    1) How do we recognise the symptoms at 10 paces? (This will give us just enough time to bolt)
    2) If we fail to recognise the symptoms and get caught like a rabbit between the headlights what is the best way of slipping out of the situation?

    • makuluwo says:

      1) Watch for the very first sign, usually in the form of abrupt outraged questions or random tears.

      2) Be silent till the tirade is over. Say, I understand, let’s work this out ok?
      If she looks calmer, HUG. If her nostrils start flaring, scream ‘POTATOES!’ which’ll shock and confuse her enough for you to have time to run and hide.

  5. eXon says:

    this happened to me today. Not funny.

  6. ROFL.

    Women are wicked. But yes, a nice pair of boobs will make us forget all about the wickedness. 😀

    I think we need to learn from dogs. To play dead.

  7. Seesaw says:

    hehe, funneeee! 🙂
    I run the spectrum of angry to tears in like 1 minute. Think the best thing a guy can do is run out and bring me sweets. A yummy eclair can calm down any hormonal woman!

  8. “..presence of boobs just makes it all worth”!! not even remotely….. 😀

    glad another female specie understands the stress woman put men when they are PMSing….

  9. greene says:

    tell me about it

  10. Gehan says:

    ROFL

    what can i say… boobs ftw… 😀

  11. Scrumps says:

    I know how this is. I don’t tend to get angry or scary. I get emotional. Seriously – I will cry at cartoons! 😐

  12. Sigma Delta says:

    “Run” is all I can say and would do

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