Perverts: whaddaya gonna do?

Posted: September 6, 2010 in Uncategorized

I don’t believe ‘men are perverts.’
But I have to say, from general observation in SL, perverts have been men.

Why is this? Biologically, hormonally, on average, it has been found that men think about doing it a lot. They don’t think about it ‘every seven seconds,’ a myth spread by a glossy magazine, but the average man thinks of it once a day and some more than once.

The Kinsey Report found that 54 per cent of men think about sex at least every day, 43 per cent think about it a few times a week or month, and 4 per cent once a month or less. The studies on women showed percentages a wee bit more than half the percentages on men.

Is this an excuse for pervy behaviour though? It’s an explanation maybe. Women walking on the street, swimming through a bus crowd, or just anywhere in public really – and it doesn’t matter what they’re wearing, whether skimpy outfit or loose gown – there’s at least one wolf whistle or an inappropriate rub-against or just a long skincrawl-inducing look, that’s bound to happen at some point in the week.

Men aren’t perverts though, they’re not all one track minded objectifying pigs, there’s a jillion men out there who despite naturally finding someone attractive won’t translate it into some perverse act. But what can be done about the men who do? A few days ago, a friend of mine choked on the memory of some guy on the street actually driving into an alley on his bike, calling her, and then flashing her.

Urgh.

First of all, wtf?

Second of all, I tried not to laugh when she told me her story. I mean, here was a grown man, who found amusement in showing random strangers this thing that all men possess. It was absolutely and ridiculously stupid. The primitive mindset he had to have had to just go around showing off his weenie to random passers-by like an attention whoring child, just made me pity him.

If I was her, I told my friend, I would have hit that bitch in the face just laughed and said ‘oh look, it appears to be a penis, only smaller!’ and walked away. But after screaming ‘HELP, THIS MAN THREW MY BABY IN THE DRAIN’ and starting a frenzy of angry pedestrians who will proceed to beat him to pulp first though. And after all, it’s just an organ, I said. All of em have it. His is no different, though you’re probably giving him the satisfaction of thinking it is when he gets that look of horror and shock on your face. Sexual predators are often found to be powerless in other aspects of their lives – so their acts of perversion are actually a pathetic exercise of power – if their victim reacts, they feel the reaction has been controlled by them and their act, hence the delusion of power.    

But what is to be done? And what about men in crowded buses? Lots of grabbing and pushing against anything female (or in some cases, male), and getting away with it at the next halt. Maybe the woman will protest, maybe he’ll get a bit roughed up by a few defensive bus folks, maybe he’ll get thrown out of that bus. He’ll get into another one and then, that’s how it goes. Same goes for other kinds of pervs.

They’re tolerated, is what I’m saying. There is a silent acceptance that you don’t go out at night or you don’t go through that gang of scruffy looking men over there because it is expected that boys will be boys, so you’ll prolly get raped in an alley, owell. Is there nothing that can actually be done to actively fight perverts? There are no serious consequences to their actions, although they have violated people, though not on as intimate a level as rape. 

When tolerated, a habit can only grow worse. But till actual rape is reported, anything less is considered virtually harmless by the law and by people in general. Will there be a time when you can get into a crowded bus and have no doubt that you won’t be touched by some stranger, or when you walk down the street one evening and you won’t cringe on the inside at seeing a group of rowdy men walking towards you?
Or am I just asking to turn water into wine here?

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Comments
  1. Chavie says:

    Agreed that action needs to be taken, but I believe that all the depraved pervs come about as a direct result of having a society that’s as messed up as ours. Nobody has the guts to confront a perv, but everyone’s happy to throw dirty looks at the lovey dovey couple that dares to hold hands in the bus. 😐

    • Sach says:

      Chav, things run deeper than that. It’s not just our society that’s messed up – people in general are messed up. Well at least some are.

      Take Japan (sorry for bringing Japan into everything, but I’m bringing up examples from what I know best) for instance. This is a society that’s better than ours, and I’m not talking about technology or economy. Japs are as people very advanced, or should I say disciplined and well mannered. The level of discipline is unbelievable. Yet, there are SOME people here who would harass a woman in a crowded train if gets the chance. There are pervs here who would steal women’s (even men’s) underwear from clothlines. Or so many other pervy things like that. However, the staring is minimal (non-existent even), nobody whistes (or even looks, for that matter) at a girl in a mini skirt, or a couple that’d be kissing.

      My point is there will always be pervs irrespective of whether it’s our ‘messed up’ society or another fine one like in Japan. But we can minimize the number of them by educating people starting from a very young age. Make them disciplined. Don’t make sex a taboo subject, but don’t go overboard either.

  2. T says:

    Nice post. I actually cannot think of a single solution for the perve situation bar all women ganging up and soundly thrashing said perve with their handbags at every occurrence. Also interesting observation by Chavie. Shows what kind of messed up moral compass our society has.

    Read http://aappathachchiya.wordpress.com/2009/09/04/s-a-m/ an interesting post.

  3. Sach says:

    Educate people – forget this generation, start with the next.

  4. Dee says:

    agree with chavie 😦

  5. Sigma says:

    One reason is this mentality we have that sex is dirty and we should not talk about – end result is a suppressed society. Children need to be brought up taught about respect for others.

    Another reason for this to reach such highst is the fact that very few of us would actually do something when we see a woman being harassed in a bus or the street. How many of us witness such incidents and choose to ignore it? Speak up everyone!

  6. Me-shak says:

    Nicely written. I agree with everyone. I don’t think we can put a end to this. For a example. Many countries that are in the middle east have enforced anti pervert laws really strictly. Flashing in the middle east can get you killed. Still, you never stop hearing of pervs getting shot in the treasure, or pervs loosing their prince sapphire. IMHO, with out changing the mind set of people, you can’t put a stop to this. A pervert not doing perverse things but yet wanting to do it is not the solution either. It should properly hit them, that abusing women is a shitty, 3rd class thing to do. Until then, the pervs will rule. I guess it should be introduced to the education system. The younger generation should be taught to hate it, and stand up against it. Interesting thoughts.

    Cheers!

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