I did something insane.

Posted: November 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

Although the post title should come as no surprise, I even shocked myself with my latest move.

I dropped out of architecture college.

It happened while I was watching a lecturer rant as he looked at my design drawings on the desk. Drawings I had just scribbled up a few hours ago and a design that I couldn’t care less about.

The scene was muted, and the narrator in my head was going, dayumn, look at him go.

And then it said, I can’t do this anymore.

Yes the voices in my head rhyme. Cuz they’re gangsta like that.
I left class immediately and talked to a few buddies, gave me 30 hours to be sure about what I was going to do.

And then I let myself say things I’d been trying not to say since I started college.
I don’t give a shit about buildings.
Every time someone asks me what I’m doing, I wave my arms around and say, designing spaces, creating structures that induce feelings when people walk through them-
And on the inside all along I’m like, wtf AM I doing?

Designing a space is a cool concept, I concede. You control the openings in a room, the size of it, the textures of it, to create a certain vibe that affects everyone inside and outside it, whether they’re conscious of it or not.
People centuries from now will dig up our ruins and see the architecture we created as a reflection of our civilization.
Good architects are awesome, no doubt. The epic awesomeness of making the physical world that all of us walk through on a daily basis – was what attracted me to it in the first place.

But. It still stands. I don’t give a shit aboutΒ  buildings.
Let alone pretending I do for another 7 years straight before I’m qualified.
After I made my decision in my head, I found Oscar Wilde’s ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ on my shelf and read a few lines. Damn, it had been a year since I actually read a book proper.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt like reading again.
I felt like a huge burden was off me.

I did ask myself though, are you dropping out because of the hard work or genuinely because of the subject?
I dropped out because what I want to do with my life, is write.
Fiction, poetry, plays, other people’s work, language – whatever. Words and stories, that’s what I always go back to. And I’d just been egged on all this time to indulge in it as a side panel ‘leisure activity’ and have a more ‘safe guarantee’ as my main course.

Fuck that.
I’m going to freelance till about March of next year, till I hopefully go abroad to major in English Literature.
But I checked out the syllabus for majoring in Lit, and it’s like a freaking holiday for me. Reading, analyzing characters, studying styles of writing, interning at publishing houses, studying drama and poetry, doing test novels as projects. I’m looking at going to Delhi, which is easy as pie to pay for and is apparently the literary hub of India.

I want to be defined as a writer. As a master at language and literature, a novelist, a maker of stories.
I’d been running away from the reality of that for this long, because as I mentioned in an older post, just-writing is one of those things you’re discouraged to get into over here. Because it doesn’t guarantee a safe desk job in the end, and all of it depends on just raw performance and creativity. No organized system to give you a cushy ride, you have to make your own niche to be a great writer.

But all I know is this is what makes me happy. I don’t care about money. I know I’m awesome at writing, judging from all the feedback I’ve got since I was 8. So this is the dream, I’m going for it. Wish me luck.

In other news, someone recently called my blog ‘offensive.’ Oh my. I’m always joking around, folks, take it with a pinch of salt. If you’ve got a sense of humour, you’ll see I am just a friendly little gopher beneath all the blunt sarcasm. :’)

Now taketh this poll!

  1. Chavie says:

    Dude, all the best with everything. It’s time to take charge of your life and take responsibility for all your actions. πŸ™‚ And don’t worry about screwing up… you won’t! Coz you were meant to write Makkie. πŸ™‚

  2. anon says:

    yeah. shakespeare went to delhi to learn how to write. hahahahahahaha

  3. PseudoRandom says:

    Excellent news, Maks! Lovely to see someone going after what they want. All the best!

    Since you’re going into a field that doesn’t guarantee a steady income, I’d suggest looking at part-time jobs or something so that you can have some money set aside for a rainy day – it’s all well and good to say you don’t care about the money, but you do need some money to survive, and I’m guessing you won’t want to be living off your folks indefinitely!

    As for your blog being offensive…eh? :S

  4. haha…dude great to see you have decided to do what you love doing! All the best!!

  5. Azrael says:

    Wish you all the very best. If you love what you do, you will succeed.

    Looking forward to reading your first novel. πŸ™‚

    Again, good luck

  6. As long as you’re doing what you love in the end! πŸ™‚

  7. Gehan says:

    agreed with PR’s comment..

    All the best! till then though, work that offensive ass of urs off to save up some dough!

    (no offense)

  8. dee says:

    omg such coolness! Yes do lit! πŸ™‚ also glad that u have the resources to pursue your likes! I would have loved to do design but a little too much on the budget. πŸ˜€ but go you!

  9. dramaqueen says:

    It’s about time.

  10. BhindADsk says:

    WoW… Thats pretty gutsy of u…U tend to do the most Craziest, Awesomest things becos of the voices in ur head… Go U !!!

    Very few things that i REALLY LOVE which turns into an addiction (Eg: Avatar -The Nick series/Not the Dumass Shymalan’s shit)& ur blog is one of them.

    Maybe in a few years u’ll be at the Galle Lit fest, with ur 1st Novel!… & I shall be in line to meet u in person then πŸ˜‰ … Goodluck & Godbless!

  11. Jack Point says:

    I think you will be better off as a writer, especially if you are overseas.

    There is not a lot of scope for architecture here, I’m not sure what attracts the thousands to the profession but only very few make any money, the rest have to compete with the baas.

  12. ggpurple says:

    its funny how people change. when i wanted to major in lit, u were the same old person who said lit’s got no much options and dang. i see this.
    anyhoo best of luck. jiji

  13. AmethystSoul says:

    πŸ˜€ Good for you. Get famous, ah. πŸ˜›

  14. […] Ramblings « I did something insane. ‘Arranging’ a Lifetime Commitment November 30, […]

  15. Shit, I missed the poll. I would have voted for your mum you know?

    Anyways, I think you did the right thing: follow your heart. As long as you can find a rich husband (which is a great possibility) you can live life writing. If the guy is fat and ugly (but super rich) you could live in your thoughtful spot and always shush him away, because he would be β€˜bursting your bubble.’ πŸ˜€

    • makuluwo says:

      Aw come on man, why does everyone have to suggest a rich husband?! No, thanks! I’ll live on bestsellers and a cosy professorial job abroad! πŸ˜›

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