Adventure Island: I. Can’t. Feel. My. Brain.

Posted: October 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

Me and two Indian friends, who shall be hereforth referred to aptly as Sergeant Crackpot and Diva, decided to go to an amusement park in Delhi called Adventure Island this weekend.

The place, in Rithala, claims to have imported stuff from the same people who supply rides to Disneyworld and Universal. It’s got about 26 rides in total, and the ticket for people below 17 is 350 Indian rupees and for adults, 450 Indian rupees. Once you get that ticket and the band wrapped around your wrist – you get unlimited access to the rides, and can ride them as many times as you want.

The best part about Adventure Island is that – the lines actually move. Compared to my experience at Sathutuyana and Excel World (back when they had that cool twister ride that spun you around like crazy) – the fast movement of lines was just tear-inducingly beautiful to witness. But Delhi is full of serial line-jumpers – they literally jump over the railing and try to get into the line – mostly school boys who’d come on a paid school trip in our case. But I’d point them out like a snitch – cuz damn I been waiting in this line to be thrown in the air by a machine for the last twenty minutes, GTFO – and Sergeant Crackpot would hear none of it, and with harsh Hindi words would make them retreat with deep feelings of shame and fear. Every now and then some fool boy would try to jump past me in the line, but then I’d just look at him and be all,

Diva was constantly complaining about how she’s going to die. How she doesn’t want to die today. How she doesn’t want to die in these ugly pants she chose to wear today. Basically, that the rides of Adventure Island were out to extract the soul from her body like the spawn of satan. Despite her mortal fear of heights and water and all the stuff awesome rides are made of, we dragged her along and made her go through it all (well except for the Twister in the end – she looked like she was going to cry when we said she had no say in the matter so we let that one slide) – with convincing exclamations of ‘Come on, THINK OF WHAT YOU CAN TELL THE WORLD after it’s all over! I looked death in the face and I said, HA! HA, DEATH! HAAAA!’ Yeah. I didn’t think that would actually work, but well.

We started with the Cyclone – a warm-up. It carried us in the air and spun us around like horses in a merry-go-round, except it was pretty fast and slanted this way and that – so yeah, I was like, whoo! Okay this is cool, I can handle shit like this, it’s fun.

And then we walked over to the Side Winder. Shit. I wasn’t expecting that. It’s this giant thing that swings you in the air – swing to the left, then comes back to the middle, and swing to the right – like, well, a swing – except when it swings to the left and right, it swings a bit more than 90 degrees. So there were moments when my feet were straight up in the air and I was face to the face with the sun in the sky, and next I would be face to face with the ground, my body hanging down on the supports. And I’m thinking, if this support accidentally unclips I am GOING TO DIE.

Suffice it to say, I screamed like a little girl.

The next major ride was the Flip Out. Now by this time, I was like, I was thrown 90 degrees in the air, bitches, I can handle ANYTHING. Even Rajinikanth and his ominous moustache. But the Flip Out is something different altogether, it’s sort of a scrambler – you get strapped in, and it carries you in the air, and then you get spun around on a pivot – so you’re not only getting spun sideways but up and diagonally and on all other axes. Basically it scrambles you and your brainz. Again there was that feeling of having defied death. And also like a weird, hands-shaking-a-bit, slightly-queasy feeling. We had to sit down a few minutes to feel normal again.

Just before getting into the next ride, we came across this vast space next to it, with water coming out of fountain-ey things in the ground – and PUNJABI MUSIC on full blast – while randomass people randomly danced around in the fountain-ey-water place, punjabi style. I’m telling you, it was like something out of a Bollywood musical. These Indians. But I have to admit, punjabi music is growing on me, and I kind of love it. It’s like the Indian equivalent of Sri Lankan baila.

The Twister came next – oh god. Diva sat this one out, and thank god because I’m sure it would have just killed her via heart attack. We were carried in the air and then SPUN AROUND 360 DEGREES, super fast, repeatedly. This should be illegal or something, because, WHAT. I don’t even know. It’s just madness. PURE MADNEZZ.

Just when I thought this place couldn’t get any more insanely awesome – while we were waiting in the line for the Splash Down, Diva and Sergeant Crackpot went to get ice cream cones – and when they got back – I got a cone that seemingly looked like a nice big heap of vanilla atop a nice big heap of chocolate, on a cone. But then I bit into it and THERE WAS A BROWNIE INSIDE. Like a beautiful fucking surprise. There was a chocolate brownie, inside my ice cream, people. Needless to say, I was just standing there dancing around like an idiot.

Finally we got on the Splash Down, which is a miniature-rollercoaster ride that slowly climbs up coaster railways and then plunges down a big height, splashing into rails that are set in water. I think we have something like this in Leisure Land in Sri Lanka? I never got on the water ride at LL, but it looked like that. Nevertheless, it was an awesome balm to all that standing in the sun before.

These are the cool rides. If you ever go to Adventure Island, don’t bother with the other stuff – they’re basically trains meandering slowly around fake rhinos and fake elephants in the grass (though that rhino looked like a badass mofo), and a bus going up and down like a fool, and other stuff for stupid babies. Diva who is scared of scary rides suggested we get on the meandering train, and I just told her she could sit in a bucket and I would push her around and it would practically be the same thing.

I wanted to go on the Side Winder and look death in the eye a couple hundred times more (adrenaline partay in my brainz!), but the other two wanted to get home on time. So we just wound up the day at McD’s at the mall that surrounds Adventure Island. I had a tasty McSpicy Paneer Burger and some Fanta. Ahhh.

Then we took the metro home, our throats sore from screaming, tired as hell – watching the sunset through the train’s glass, while we propped our feet up on the seats because the train was almost totally empty. When I got home, there was a loudass punjabi wedding happening in the same neighborhood, which meant crazy punjabi drums and shizz pounding through the walls of our apartment. The roomies and I got on the rooftop terrace and they taught me to dance like a punjabi; it’s pretty easy stuff actually – most moves imitate either screwing light bulbs or riding a horse.

All in all, good day. Adventure Island, man. We need to get one of those all up in Colombo. Or else I’ve made it my new goal in life to get really rich, so I can have me some Side Winder in the backyard. Oh yeah.

Pics from Kyazoonga.

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Comments
  1. Chavie says:

    D.E.W.D!!! Epicness. 😀 Shiiiit, we so need some good rides here. Leisure World is ridiculously expensive and the rides are lame. Get rich fast, yo! 😀

  2. Gehan says:

    Fantastic! I remember going to this park in Sweden a couple of years ago, and it was insane! My brother was similarly terrified but I somehow managed to drag him to some absolutely ridiculous rides, including what we were told was the tallest and fastest wooden rollercoaster in Europe. We went on something similar to the Sidewinder too, but it was on the edge of a cliff so one second your staring at the sky and the next your staring at the bottom of the cliff!

    Nuts, but what a thrill.

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