Archive for March, 2012

Talking to a Sri Lankan

Posted: March 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

Ahhh here!


Just wait OK.

Wait for what?

For lies don’t talk.

I’m not lying.

Ah truly?

What do you mean?

Nothing, just wait.

What am I waiting for? I’m confused now!

Very good for you.

Confusion is good for me?

Idiot you are a!

Your sentence structure is all off.

You only!

I’m only what?

Head pot.




Hoo hoo!

I’m going. Are you paying the bill?

Yes, no?

Which is it, yes or no?

I said yes, no?!

Which one!

I’ll pay, you just go to see.

Go to see what?

I can’t with you!

Can’t do what with me?!

Go men, or I’ll give you a nice shot!

I could use a shot of whiskey actually.

I’ll give you a whiskey now!

You will?


Then why did you-


I don’t get it.

You WILL get it if you don’t go now.

Are you saying I should stay?

No! Bye meya!

Who’s meya?

Aapoh, your grandfather!

But his name is Clifford.

I’m tired. See you.

You mean see me later?

No, not really.

I’m back on the island for a really short while. So earlier today some friends and I hung out at Galle Face (honestly, the limitedness of places to hang out in this city is depressing!) — and we were bored, so I asked Flailer – the official Gossip Aunty of the Universe – what’s the gossip these days? Who’s going out with who? What’s the drama?

Not that I usually am anything more than oblivious (and blissfully so) about general happenings in other people’s lives. But we were bored and had talked about everything else you see. Including this plan that we should all do something awesome before I fly back to India – such as wear cool home-made costumes and walk about in public, which by the way, nobody concurred with, despite the sheer brilliance of the idea. Someone suggested we have a picnic in the park instead. Costumes > Picnic, people. Jeez.

Anyway. Back to the gossip.

So we started talking about all these people we knew… and this one has anger management issues itseems, and that one’s ex is actually a nutcase itseems, and this one had a maara fight with that one in front of everyone lu, and that one has a crush on this one but this one has a boyfriend! Oh my god really? You and that one went out?! Ah how funny, go on! Aiyyo that one gets on my nerves I can’t stand it anymore, aney this one is such an attention whore. And do you know why he broke up with her? I don’t know, tell tell! And so on and so forth.

And mind you, this is not a girl thing – two out of four people present were BOYS – who, might I add, seemed as though they were quite practiced in the art. I felt really dirty afterwards, because I don’t usually ever gossip and it just felt so… crass. More so because I found that embarrassingly enough, I enjoyed it! Hearing about this one and that one and sharing secrets – I guess like some people enjoy watching soaps, is a fun distraction from your own life. It might be an epic waste of time (but then who cares if you have time to waste?), but I guess it’s OK as long as you stop before you start properly bitching about the subject of gossip.

It got me wondering though, god if these people call this one a mental case and that one an attention whore, I wonder what they say about me when I’m not around? I don’t care to the point of needing to know and I bet ignorance is bliss, but I can’t help but feel some amused curiosity. So take this poll, you gossip aunties.


Also there’s this other thing I’ve been wondering about – from my blog stats, on average about 200 people will visit the blog on the day I post something (unless it’s just my only biggest fan visiting it from different IPs like a hundred times) but yall barely post comments anymore, and this is only a recent development. Was browsing through some old posts and realized I miss the fun little discussion on the comment threads. So take this poll also.

And this one too, cuz polls are fun.